The You I Am Afraid Of.

This is not the you I am afraid of.

When you asked if I trust you.

I want you to know,

That this is not the you I am afraid of.

I am afraid of the you after this.

The you after us.

That is the you I am afraid of.

The you after the I love you's

The you that has been transformed by heartbreak.

The you that is cold, and numb and indifferent.

Because I love you.

Because you love me.

But we are two explosives.

And so there is no peaceful ending to this love story.

So, no, I do not trust that you.

Because I haven't met him.

I haven't seen the darkness in his eyes.

But he knows my secrets.

He knows my weaknesses.

He knows his way around me.

That is the you I am afraid of.

That is the me you should be fiercely terrified of.

...

When did you know it was love?

What came first?

The butterflies, or the fear.

That someone other than yourself could change you, into this person that could feel.

Love.

Pain.

Joy.

Loneliness.

And that someone other than yourself could possibly cause you pain.

The kind that burns.

The kind that breaks. 

The kind you do not recover from.

...

Such a beautifully flawed creature you are. 

I would take your pieces, time and time again and they will make me whole.

The problem is you think you can fix me...
The problem is, you are the broken one.